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How to KEEP IT REAL using Serato

R-Tistic

L.A. needs me!
*WARNING - This is a joke...not to be taken serious at all. I created this and posted it on the Serato site a few days back*

So, you call yourself a DJ, but you went out and purchased Serato, right? Well, regardless if you're a 35 year vet who's been spinnin vinyl since 8-tracks were hot, or if you're a newbie who has no clue of what slipmats are....there are certain rules you must follow when using this program we call Serato. In order to keep it real and be considered a REAL DJ, you MUST follow these rules...otherwise, you are a fake, and need to leave this to professionals.

Here's how you KEEP IT REAL when using Serato....

-Do NOT look at the waves on the screen...do it by ear ONLY!!! If you can't mix without looking at the waves, then you are NOT a real DJ!!

-Do NOT look at the BPMs. If you overview the files, act as if the BPM is not correct. Otherwise, you are a fake!!

-Do NOT use relative mode...Absolute is for ABSOLUTELY true DJ's...Relative is for those who can't relate to being real. And internal mode....don't even get me started!! Do NOT use loops, cue points, or anything else that allows you to cheat!

-Do NOT use crates....the ONLY crates that are legit are the ones that you carry that have real vinyls, and not Serato vinyls in it. Setting up crates, playlists, or anything else is NOT real DJing....and the same goes for the search function!

-Do NOT use CDJs, because they have lead to the death of vinyl every since they came out! They were made for wannabees who were smart enough to make money off all the rest of you wannabees.

-Regardless of if you use MP3s, you HAVE TO to go the nearest vinyl store and buy at least five vinyls a week, including one rare one that you can't find anywhere else! Otherwise, you won't know the struggle that DJ's had back in the day!!

-Do NOT download or play ANY free music, unless a company or the artist themselves give it to you! If you download ANYTHING from a P2P network, or get someone to e-mail you a song you don't have, you are a fake, and you support illegal music!

-Make sure you use ALL .wav formatted songs! This will force you to have the heaviest hard drive possible, and this is the closest you'll get to having to lug thousands of crates around like the REAL DJs used to do!!!

-Do NOT play any pre-made blends or remixes, unless you bought them on vinyl!! If you aren't fast enough to throw T-Pain on top of that new Coldplay song live, leave it to the real DJ's! If you do a live blend, make sure you don't look at the BPM or graphs...otherwise, you are NOT keeping it real!

-Do NOT edit any songs on your computer, whether it's to eliminate the cursing, to add DJ intros, or to make it louder.

-Do NOT adjust the volume on each track through Serato, and don't look at the graph to see how loud it is! If you don't adjust the volume from the mixer, then you are a FAKE!

-Do NOT show up to a gig with just a laptop, thinking it's cool. If you know they have a TTM-57 there, it doesn't matter...what are you gonna do if it fails, or when your hard drive crashes? PLEASE don't say you're gonna use your backup iPod or Internal mode...therefore, make sure to bring at least 8 crates of vinyls to EVERY event you do!

-Do NOT show up to an event with your custom colored vinyls, labels, and Serato box, thinking it makes you look cool, because REAL DJs are about SUBSTANCE, not flash and glamour!

-Do NOT download any music during a live set...back in the days, you couldn't run to the store during a set, so respect your history and deal with the fact that you don't have everything on your 5 TB hard drive even though you sat at work downloading music all day!

If you follow these rules, then you may receive e-props along with other forms of respect from the REAL DJs around the world.

Respect,
DJ Reel2Real
 

DJ Scorpio

aka Big Daddy
this is my favorite:

-Do NOT show up to a gig with just a laptop, thinking it's cool. If you know they have a TTM-57 there, it doesn't matter...what are you gonna do if it fails, or when your hard drive crashes? PLEASE don't say you're gonna use your backup iPod or Internal mode...therefore, make sure to bring at least 8 crates of vinyls to EVERY event you do! :D
 

Diamond Dog

NNY's Truth
Haha....that shit was funny. Everything definitely had a point in relation to the old school DJ's who hunted down all their vinyls and blended "on the fly". No matter what happens, I can't help but to use the BPM counter, though....kinda got used to it!!
 

AwDaMaDDiX

**** U round eye!
Keeping it real is when you're actually working, mixing, and the music sounds good to people.

Don't matter what you do behind the scenes. There are people who take the easier route cause they don't have talent. Then there are people who take the easier route, cause it's faster and easier, but the talent is definitely there.
 

dj_trebol

New member
AwDaMaDDiX said:
Keeping it real is when you're actually working, mixing, and the music sounds good to people.

Don't matter what you do behind the scenes. There are people who take the easier route cause they don't have talent. Then there are people who take the easier route, cause it's faster and easier, but the talent is definitely there.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
He has a bigg point!!!!
and i Agreee!!

but i Love my serato.
best thing that every happened to me.
but i do use my old vinyl sometimes for practice sessions..i gotta hear the snap,crack, and pop :D

butt i do what i have to do to make myself sound insane, crazy, ect.
even if it sacrifices my needles..
 

ScottR622

Dj Ruff
R-Tistic said:
*WARNING - This is a joke...not to be taken serious at all. I created this and posted it on the Serato site a few days back*

So, you call yourself a DJ, but you went out and purchased Serato, right? Well, regardless if you're a 35 year vet who's been spinnin vinyl since 8-tracks were hot, or if you're a newbie who has no clue of what slipmats are....there are certain rules you must follow when using this program we call Serato. In order to keep it real and be considered a REAL DJ, you MUST follow these rules...otherwise, you are a fake, and need to leave this to professionals.

Here's how you KEEP IT REAL when using Serato....

-Do NOT look at the waves on the screen...do it by ear ONLY!!! If you can't mix without looking at the waves, then you are NOT a real DJ!!

-Do NOT look at the BPMs. If you overview the files, act as if the BPM is not correct. Otherwise, you are a fake!!

-Do NOT use relative mode...Absolute is for ABSOLUTELY true DJ's...Relative is for those who can't relate to being real. And internal mode....don't even get me started!! Do NOT use loops, cue points, or anything else that allows you to cheat!

-Do NOT use crates....the ONLY crates that are legit are the ones that you carry that have real vinyls, and not Serato vinyls in it. Setting up crates, playlists, or anything else is NOT real DJing....and the same goes for the search function!

-Do NOT use CDJs, because they have lead to the death of vinyl every since they came out! They were made for wannabees who were smart enough to make money off all the rest of you wannabees.

-Regardless of if you use MP3s, you HAVE TO to go the nearest vinyl store and buy at least five vinyls a week, including one rare one that you can't find anywhere else! Otherwise, you won't know the struggle that DJ's had back in the day!!

-Do NOT download or play ANY free music, unless a company or the artist themselves give it to you! If you download ANYTHING from a P2P network, or get someone to e-mail you a song you don't have, you are a fake, and you support illegal music!

-Make sure you use ALL .wav formatted songs! This will force you to have the heaviest hard drive possible, and this is the closest you'll get to having to lug thousands of crates around like the REAL DJs used to do!!!

-Do NOT play any pre-made blends or remixes, unless you bought them on vinyl!! If you aren't fast enough to throw T-Pain on top of that new Coldplay song live, leave it to the real DJ's! If you do a live blend, make sure you don't look at the BPM or graphs...otherwise, you are NOT keeping it real!

-Do NOT edit any songs on your computer, whether it's to eliminate the cursing, to add DJ intros, or to make it louder.

-Do NOT adjust the volume on each track through Serato, and don't look at the graph to see how loud it is! If you don't adjust the volume from the mixer, then you are a FAKE!

-Do NOT show up to a gig with just a laptop, thinking it's cool. If you know they have a TTM-57 there, it doesn't matter...what are you gonna do if it fails, or when your hard drive crashes? PLEASE don't say you're gonna use your backup iPod or Internal mode...therefore, make sure to bring at least 8 crates of vinyls to EVERY event you do!

-Do NOT show up to an event with your custom colored vinyls, labels, and Serato box, thinking it makes you look cool, because REAL DJs are about SUBSTANCE, not flash and glamour!

-Do NOT download any music during a live set...back in the days, you couldn't run to the store during a set, so respect your history and deal with the fact that you don't have everything on your 5 TB hard drive even though you sat at work downloading music all day!

If you follow these rules, then you may receive e-props along with other forms of respect from the REAL DJs around the world.

Respect,
DJ Reel2Real
Well I guess we have a lot to be thankful for with the advent of software
 

djunity

Bum Squad
I recently discoverd a very good use for Internal mode: When a very hot drunk girl wants to lean and/or put her hands on the turntable that happens to be playing at the time, you quickly switch to INT. Now the music keeps playing and you dont have to drop kick that dumb b%t*h out of the dj booth.
 

Diamond Dog

NNY's Truth
djunity said:
I recently discoverd a very good use for Internal mode: When a very hot drunk girl wants to lean and/or put her hands on the turntable that happens to be playing at the time, you quickly switch to INT. Now the music keeps playing and you dont have to drop kick that dumb b%t*h out of the dj booth.

Haha!! Good idea!!
 

MiamiHustler

DJ TARIQUE
2 be honest most of the time in the hip hop clubs if they got a good monitor I dont use headphones to mix anymore...? like what for..? Does that mean Im not a real Dj..? No that means I look extra cool! NO HEAD PHONES BITCH! LOL
 

R-Tistic

L.A. needs me!
MiamiHustler said:
2 be honest most of the time in the hip hop clubs if they got a good monitor I dont use headphones to mix anymore...? like what for..? Does that mean Im not a real Dj..? No that means I look extra cool! NO HEAD PHONES BITCH! LOL
If you only use the wavs, then NOPE, YOU'RE NOT REAL!!! LOL

I feel the same way though...I still use the Headphones, but I don't have to pay nearly as much attention anymore.
 
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